For such a time as this.....

There are sometimes just no words to describe events that happen in your life. The type of moments where you whole body goes into shock and you just can't imagine what you just experienced was true. I had one of those experiences a few weeks ago.

I found out one of my college roommates had committed suicide. Now I've known of people doing this, but never been a real part of someones life who killed themselves. I felt so sick and cried harder than I have in a very long time. We were very close in college, faced some tough times and later lost touch for many years and in the past year reconnected thanks to the wonder of Facebook. We would chat and text each other periodically. We never got back to being really close, but I feel really good about the reconciliation that did take place. I'm so thankful for that.

I didn't know, however, that things were really that wrong. We actually chatted the day before she killed herself. I had no idea what she was really going through. I felt horrible that I didn't see a sign, I didn't pick up on anything or even start asking tough questions. Was I not being a good friend? Or did she really keep me (and alot of people) so snowed that nobody really knew.

It's been a few weeks since her suicide, and I've had time to process. Suicide is so strange - you are left with a big giant "WHAT?" with no real sense of closure. Ick.

Oh Barb - I certainly hope that now you are at peace.....

....and I shall call him MINI-ME!

Yes - in case you haven't heard (because you are deprived of Facebook or have been residing under a rock) we are pregnant! 9 weeks - due March 31.

We weren't "trying" but we weren't "not trying". We had pulled the goalie, if you know what I mean. 5 weeks later, it worked! How about that.

I haven't been very sick. I have been EXTREMELY tired. I wonder if pregnancy causes narcolepsy - I could, for a fact, fall asleep anywhere anytime. Tripod has been a great snuggle buddy - she's ALWAYS willing to snuggle up in bed with me anytime of day. Which is great, she may not be the favored child in 9 months.

I was in a meeting at work from 2:30-3:30 (bad time of the day if you're NOT preggo) and completely checked out and had the glazed-over look. Not like Krispy Kreme, more like fill my hand full of shaving cream and tickle my nose for a good laugh sort of glaze. It wasn't until almost the end of the meeting I realized people were making fun of me. It's quite alright, I'm an easy target as of late.

We've gotten a few baby gifts from our parents, the first being a tshirt for a 6-month old that says "My Dad's Tattoos Are Cooler Than Yours". Awesome! My mom sent us a pooh hat and matching slippers, some onesies and bibs - and One that says "Grandma Loves Me". This kid will be rediculously spoiled. TJ brought me home a storybook bible that is so cool - I can't wait until we get to tuck our kids into bed and read it to them. Eeeeek!