It's a GIRL

Here's our little blueberry - which is really more the size of a sweet potato now. Needless to say, we're pretty much in love with her.

Here's she's giving us a thumbs up!

Behold....the God-o-Matic!

I was very inspired by two posts today.


One, from Stuff Christians Like about self-centeredness in ministry. It hurt to read - like my flu shot that hurt for 4 days.


Another, from the Church of No People about marketing and ads and the evils within. It also mentioned that Americans are great crybabies today....not tough, like in the "good ole days":

Americans are a bunch of crybabies. As soon as something goes slightly wrong - we get a tummyache or the sniffles, we want a fix now. In the old days, that didn't happen. Back when average men worked in smog factories and ate lunch out of buckets, know what they did when they mangled their hands in the machinery? They drank some 'tonic,' and then went home and chopped wood for the fireplace...because the boss fired them for breaking the machine.


Between these two - I realize I don't have a God, but a vending machine. I actually knew this a long time ago, but clearily I still see Jesus as a God-o-matic with magic elixers for whatever ails me at the time. I am a great crybaby and a great justifier. I can justify anything I say or do --- which usually ends up proving that I am first, a great crybaby.

When did I forget God actually cares about me? That he doesn't want my "two cents" in exchange for a nudge one way or another - but He wants to know the whole story. He wants to talk about it over coffee. Or a pan of brownies. Or both. There's a relationship there. The only relationship I've ever had with a vending machine was when the coke machine at work raised the prices and I nearly cussed it out and then proceeded to tell my coworkers what an outrage it was.

Wah...wah....wah.....

Fall! Hooray!

I just love the fall. I love the colors, the smells (pumpking ANYTHING) and especially the weather. I love walking at night wrapped in a sweater to keep the chill off. And when you're pregnant - cold is way better than hot.

I am itching to decorate for Halloween - yes that terrible holiday just happens to be one of my favorites. Who would argue dressing up as Wonder Woman an eating too much candy is a bad idea???? Not me!!!

I wonder if there are any cute pregnant lady costumes out there....

For such a time as this.....

There are sometimes just no words to describe events that happen in your life. The type of moments where you whole body goes into shock and you just can't imagine what you just experienced was true. I had one of those experiences a few weeks ago.

I found out one of my college roommates had committed suicide. Now I've known of people doing this, but never been a real part of someones life who killed themselves. I felt so sick and cried harder than I have in a very long time. We were very close in college, faced some tough times and later lost touch for many years and in the past year reconnected thanks to the wonder of Facebook. We would chat and text each other periodically. We never got back to being really close, but I feel really good about the reconciliation that did take place. I'm so thankful for that.

I didn't know, however, that things were really that wrong. We actually chatted the day before she killed herself. I had no idea what she was really going through. I felt horrible that I didn't see a sign, I didn't pick up on anything or even start asking tough questions. Was I not being a good friend? Or did she really keep me (and alot of people) so snowed that nobody really knew.

It's been a few weeks since her suicide, and I've had time to process. Suicide is so strange - you are left with a big giant "WHAT?" with no real sense of closure. Ick.

Oh Barb - I certainly hope that now you are at peace.....

....and I shall call him MINI-ME!

Yes - in case you haven't heard (because you are deprived of Facebook or have been residing under a rock) we are pregnant! 9 weeks - due March 31.

We weren't "trying" but we weren't "not trying". We had pulled the goalie, if you know what I mean. 5 weeks later, it worked! How about that.

I haven't been very sick. I have been EXTREMELY tired. I wonder if pregnancy causes narcolepsy - I could, for a fact, fall asleep anywhere anytime. Tripod has been a great snuggle buddy - she's ALWAYS willing to snuggle up in bed with me anytime of day. Which is great, she may not be the favored child in 9 months.

I was in a meeting at work from 2:30-3:30 (bad time of the day if you're NOT preggo) and completely checked out and had the glazed-over look. Not like Krispy Kreme, more like fill my hand full of shaving cream and tickle my nose for a good laugh sort of glaze. It wasn't until almost the end of the meeting I realized people were making fun of me. It's quite alright, I'm an easy target as of late.

We've gotten a few baby gifts from our parents, the first being a tshirt for a 6-month old that says "My Dad's Tattoos Are Cooler Than Yours". Awesome! My mom sent us a pooh hat and matching slippers, some onesies and bibs - and One that says "Grandma Loves Me". This kid will be rediculously spoiled. TJ brought me home a storybook bible that is so cool - I can't wait until we get to tuck our kids into bed and read it to them. Eeeeek!

T-minus 38 hours...

Oh no! 2 weeks since my last post. For shame; for SHAME! I think I have *gasp* been forgetting about this blog, thanks to THIS blog. Yep, we have created a blog to chart the excitement and heartbreak of finding a call in to ministry. It actually has lots of good stuff on there, why we're in Charlotte, why we want to be in ministry, what we're currently considering, etc.

It's not as funny as this blog, but then - what IS?

So in a day and a half and a few hours we'll embark on a 11+ hour roadtrip to Connecticut and try our hand at being New Englanders. I think we're half crazy - or God has a crazy plan for our life and we're just crazy enough to do it. Either way, it's clear whot he crazies are. US! Crazy or not, we're pretty excited about the trip. I've never been to Connecticut, and really just learned in the past few months where it is on a map. (I know!!!!)

I plan on posting pictures and getting on here to rant periodically - please pray for us as we check this out. It's nuts and crazy and only a couple fools too young enough to be scared of anything would do it.

Whatever happened to "cut and dry"?

You know - things that are balanced and orderly. Black and white. A then B. Genesis then Rev. Peanut Butter and Jelly. Peas and Carrots. Sigfried and Roy. Captain and Tenille?!?!?!

I 'm not sure who (although I do have some theories) planted this idea in my head that life was going to be organized and logical. You put in your dollar, and out pops a diet coke. A simple, vending-machine existence that was consistent, dependable, predictable and boring. One long line of Dilbert cartoons and Seinfeld. Stuff you could count on that didn't rock the boat.

I think when I realized I was going to be a pastor's wife I failed to read the fine print. I'm not sure what type of fine print God would write about this profession, but I would bet a whole bottle of blood pressure medicine that it would be something like this:

Things (specifically life, from now until you croak) are going to be crazy and you are never really going to to know what's going on, where you are going and what you should be doing; what just happened will be insane and what is about to happen will blow your mind. Don't try to figure it out, just roll with it dude. Blessed are the flexible, for they won't be bent out of shape.

If I had been given this little tidbit, I think I would be handling life a little better. At least, I think I would be. I wouldn't have had a meltdown in someones living room like I did today. The reality and fruition of faith is just so hard. Trusting what is ahead, not cling to the comfort that is behind, and not being wavered by what beckons from the left and the right are just tough. I feel like I'm on the ridiculous, yet strangely addicting game show, Wipeout. Imagine me running over giant foam balls hoping I don't slip into the mud before I get catapulted into a ring of fire or onto a conveyor belt filled with pool toys. That sort of feels like me at the moment, sans wet suit and safety goggles.

I'll let you know when I make it over the rubber battering ram and safely into the foam tub. So far, I'm stuck in the middle of the obstacle course wondering where the ladder is.